Not getting his scheduled vaccines.  Not eating whatever I wanted during pregnancy.  Not giving up breast feeding after two weeks.  No.  I don't regret any of these.  Nor do I think there's a cause and effect relationship between these and autism.  There's no medical evidence about vaccines.  And even if there is something behind it...which I can't really deny parents who swear they noticed regression after certain vaccines...I still prefer a child who is autistic and alive to a child who has a disease.   Other moms have mentioned that if enough children are vaccinated, the threat of disease drops significantly.  I respect everyone's decision regarding this.  It's a very personal matter.  But like other moms, I have never regretted my decisions in the past.

Except for my fear.  I regret having fear.  I regret having it cloud my vision and focus.  The only real evidence out there for autism is that the earlier you intervene with therapy, the better it is for your child.  I remember always showing therapists and professionals all the video clips of the things my one year old was able to do.  All the things that looked like typical behavior.  Even social.  And across the board, they would all tell me "Don't worry.  This is not autism."  If only one of those people told me "yes, autism can look like this also", I would have opened the door to services much sooner.  Perhaps even a year earlier which may have been critical for his development.  But I was scared of a diagnosis.  I didn't know about the services.  So I wanted to paint the best picture I could have painted of my son. 

In retrospect, I would have shown them every video of the things that got me suspicious.  I would have really pushed them harder for the diagnosis. I thought I was being my son's defense attorney against people who wanted to give him a life sentence.  If only I knew then what I know now.  I should only hope that these words stick with you moms that have a feeling in your gut but are suppressing it out of fear.  I don't want you all to go into a frenzy and think that your children are all on the spectrum if they have the slightest delay.  Absolutely not.  Your poor pediatricians are gonna put me on their hit list!  But those of you who have a weird feeling....you know who you are...just trust your gut!  And take advantage of the resources you have available!